Full of Promise Page 14

  Now Cam was getting angry. What right did her mom have to tell her how she should feel? She took a couple deep breaths, trying to calm herself so this wouldn’t turn into a shouting match. She just wanted her mom to understand. “It’s not a phase, Mom,” she said as she crossed her arms.

  “Cameron, you’re young. You don’t know what you want. Is this why Claire stormed out?”

  Again, Cam avoided her mom’s gaze by looking at the floor. “Yeah. She, um, saw me kissing Riley.”

  “Excuse me? How long has that been going on?”

  “I don’t know. Not long.”

  “Cameron Elizabeth! How long?”

  “Since New Year’s, I guess.”

  Now it was her mom’s turn to look dumbfounded and Cam watched as her mom struggled with any type of response.

  “But she’s slept over since then,” she said quietly, almost to herself. Her mom shook her head and started yelling. “That’s it! You’re not allowed to see her again, and she won’t be sleeping over ever again. You’re grounded!”

  “What? But we haven’t done anything wrong! You’ve caught me kissing Danny before and I didn’t get in trouble!”

  “I’m not arguing about this! The only place you’re allowed to go is school and work. End of discussion. Now go to your room!”

  “You’re unbelievable. I did nothing wrong! What happened to you trusting me?”

  “Upstairs, now!” Her mom turned away and toward the sink, gripping the counter until her knuckles turned white.

  Cam stared at her mom’s back as tears rolled down her cheeks. She rushed upstairs to her room and curled up with her head on Riley’s pillow, which still carried the scent of her shampoo. Cam grabbed her phone to call Riley and she answered right away.

  “Cam, is everything okay? What happened? What’d you say to your mom?”

  “I told her I’m bi,” Cam whispered, trying to hold back tears. “She told me I can’t see you anymore.”

  “Oh, Cam. I’m so sorry. I’m—”

  “I’m not going to let her keep me from you, Riley.”

  “It’s okay. We’ll figure it out. What else did she say?”

  “She said it’s a phase and that I’m too young to know better,” Cam barely choked out amongst her sobs. “She said I can only go to school and work.”

  “I’m so sorry. I’m sure she’ll come around. Just give it some time. It was a shock to my parents too when I came out. It will get better. Please believe me.”

  “I’ll try. God, I wish you were here.”

  “Me too. Um, have you talked to Claire?”

  “No, you were the first person I wanted to call. I’ll call her later. Maybe it’ll give her time to process this.” Cam lay there silently until a thought popped into her head and she bolted upright. “Oh my God, Riley! What if she tells people? It could get all over the school and not just for me, but for you too!”

  “Whoa, whoa. Calm down. Claire wouldn’t do that. She’s your best friend. Don’t even think about it. But, if for some reason it does come out, it’ll be fine. We graduate in a couple months and then we’ll be out of there. I don’t really care what others will think.”

  Letting go of the breath she was holding, Cam said, “I know. I just never thought it would go this way. My mom is so mad, and I don’t want to lose Claire. I’m not going to lose you, am I?”

  “Never.”

  The sounds of sniffling came across the phone line on both sides instead of words.

  “I should get going. All this yelling and crying is exhausting. I think I’m going to take a nap.”

  “That’s a good idea. Call me later, okay?”

  “I will. Riley?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I…I love you,” Cam blurted, slightly cringing because she couldn’t believe she was telling her this for the first time over the phone.

  “I love you too, Cam,” she said. “Get some sleep.”

  “I will. Bye.” Cam put her phone on the nightstand, pulled the covers up to her chin, and held Riley’s pillow tightly as she began to drift off, hoping her world wasn’t falling apart.

  * * *

  Over the weekend, Cam had tried reaching out to Claire with texts and calls, but they all went unanswered. She hoped Claire had taken the time to cool off.

  However, Cam got the hint that Claire was still mad when she didn’t show up Monday morning to pick her up for school. While it seemed Claire was avoiding her, Cam knew that couldn’t happen once they both got to school. If Claire even showed up. Maybe she’d just skip school altogether.

  After a six-block walk to school, Cam immediately went on a mission to find Riley. She craved the comfort and confidence of knowing someone was on her side just so she could get through her day. But as soon as Cam locked eyes with Riley, she could tell Riley was as nervous as she was.

  “Hey,” Cam said.

  “Hi, Cam.”

  Riley stood ramrod straight and repeatedly clenched her fists, as if struggling not to comfort Cam in some physical way.

  “How are you? I’m sorry we didn’t get to talk last night. My mom and dad wanted to have a movie night. By the time the movie was over, it was late, and I didn’t want to wake you up.”

  “Wouldn’t have mattered since I didn’t sleep much.” Cam shrugged. “But I’m okay, I guess. My mom and I are avoiding each other.”

  Taking a deep breath, Cam looked around and made sure no one was listening. It didn’t seem like anyone was, but she whispered, “I think the boys know something’s wrong. I was trying to do homework last night at my desk. Everything that happened on Friday just kept replaying in my mind. I must’ve started crying. I don’t know if Josh was in the hallway or he heard me from his room, but he came in, didn’t say a word, and wrapped me in a hug before he silently walked back out.”

  “He’s a good kid.”

  “Yeah, he is. I’m going to miss him and Ethan next year.” Before she could dwell on it anymore, she cleared her throat and tried to change the subject. She opened her mouth to say something, but quickly closed it because she didn’t know what else to say. Instead, she just shook her head and dropped her gaze to the floor.

  Riley lightly brushed her fingers against the back of Cam’s hand. “Things will be okay, Cam. We’ll work through this together.”

  Cam met her gaze and gave her a small smile. “Thanks. I’m going to try and find Claire. I’ll see you later, okay?”

  Riley briefly squeezed her hand and said, “Good luck.”

  Knowing Riley was supporting her gave Cam more strength for what she was about to do. That boost was short-lived, though, and Cam nervously wrung her hands the closer she got to Claire’s locker. Claire crouched, pulling out the books she would need for her morning classes.

  “Claire, can we talk?”

  Claire answered by standing, slamming her locker door, and glaring at Cam for several tense moments until she rushed off toward her first class.

  “Shit,” Cam muttered as she hung her head and turned in the opposite direction to get to class.

  Throughout the day, Cam tried starting conversations with Claire, but Claire refused to even look at her. After the final bell rang, she caught up with Claire at her locker and tried to talk to her once again.

  “Claire, please talk to me.” Claire gave her a disgusted snort and turned to storm off. Quickly, Cam grabbed her arm to stop her and stepped in front of her. “Please, Claire. I’m so, so sorry.”

  She slapped away Cam’s hand and narrowed her eyes. “Fuck you, Cam.” Then she walked quickly down the hall and out the door.

  Cam covered her mouth with her hand to hold back a sob. She realized she was still in the hallway when she noticed several kids staring at her with curious expressions. Quickly, she wrapped her arms around her stomach and rushed down the hallway as tears streamed down her face.

  Riley saw her and walked alongside Cam. “What happened? Did you try to talk to Claire?”

  Cam couldn’t even look in her
direction. She just wanted to get out of the school and away from prying eyes as quickly as possible. Riley pulled her into an empty classroom. Realizing they were alone, she threw herself at Riley, hugging her tightly and sobbing uncontrollably.

  Riley held Cam and rubbed her hands up and down Cam’s back. “What happened?” she asked again. Cam answered with more tears. “Cameron, you’re scaring me.”

  After a few more minutes of crying and once Cam caught her breath, she lightly kissed Riley on the cheek and stepped away, wiping her tears away with the sleeves of her sweatshirt.

  “I’m sorry. I tried talking to Claire again and she told me to fuck off. She looked at me like she hates me.” Cam sat in the chair closest to her with her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands.

  Riley knelt in front of her, rubbing small circles on her thighs. “I’m sure she doesn’t hate you. What she saw on Friday was a shock. Give her some more time. It’s only been a couple days.”

  With her hands still covering her face, Cam replied in a shaky voice, “But she’s my best friend. I can’t lose her.”

  Riley took Cam’s hands in her own, meeting Cam’s gaze as she did so. “You won’t lose her. Just give it time. She’ll cool off.”

  Cam closed the distance and kissed Riley, releasing a sigh as Riley’s warm lips settled her racing mind and heart. Cam pulled back and said, “Thank you—for everything.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Cam briefly kissed her again. “I should go. I need to get home before my mom does.”

  Walking outside, they parted with the promise of talking later that night—a comfort Cam desperately needed.

  Cam walked into her house and found her brothers were already on the couch in the living room playing video games. She knew she should ask them if they had done their homework or even make a move to sit down next to them and play, but she didn’t have the strength to pretend everything was okay.

  “Hey guys, I’ll be in my room,” she said, not waiting for any kind of reply before heading upstairs.

  She flopped onto her bed and curled up with Riley’s pillow, breathing in her scent, which was starting to fade away. Her mind replayed the hurt and angry look that Claire sported anytime Cam looked at her. She had never seen Claire so mad before, about anything really, but especially at her. Sure, they had disagreements over the years, but Claire had never been so harsh as she had today. Cam was desperate to make things right between them, but she couldn’t fathom how to make that happen if Claire wouldn’t even talk to her.

  She understood the shock Claire must’ve felt when she caught her making out with Riley. Claire would’ve been surprised if she caught Cam making out with a guy, and the fact that she was with another girl certainly multiplied the shock times a million. So, it was understandable if Claire needed some time to come to terms with it, but Cam was impatient and scared. They had never gone this long without talking. She desperately wanted to reach out again, but she knew forcing Claire to talk would push her away even more.

  Cam must have fallen asleep, because the next thing she knew, she was shooting upright in bed when she heard a knock on her door.

  “Yeah?” Cam asked hoarsely.

  Ethan opened the door and poked his head in. “Mom said to come down for dinner.”

  Cam let a small sigh. “I’ll be right down.”

  He went downstairs, leaving the door open behind him. Cam rubbed her face, ran her hands through her hair, and rolled off the bed to head to the kitchen. This would be their first meal together since the argument with her mom. Over the weekend, Cam had chosen to eat in her room or sometimes not at all.

  As she sat down at the table, her mom asked in a tense voice, “How was your day, Cam?”

  “Oh, just peachy, Mom,” Cam replied sarcastically. “My best friend isn’t talking to me and I’m not allowed to see the one person I care about outside of school.”

  “Enough with the attitude, Cameron. You’re grounded and there’s nothing you can do about it. Now eat your dinner.”

  Her brothers glanced at each other with raised eyebrows. The desire to ask what was wrong was written all over their faces, but they must’ve realized it wasn’t a good idea and they kept their mouths shut.

  Cam tried to eat her dinner, but it just felt like a rock inside her stomach. After several minutes of pushing her food around, she asked, “May I be excused?”

  “Fine,” her mom replied tiredly.

  She got up, cleared her plate, and put it in the dishwasher. She went upstairs to call Riley, because right now, she was the only one who understood.

  Riley was sitting at the kitchen table with her parents, pushing her food back and forth on the plate. She knew she had been uncharacteristically quiet all weekend. Her parents tried to engage her in conversation, but she gave one-word answers. Her thoughts were focused on Cam and what she was going through at home. She wanted to help in some way, but she didn’t really know how.

  Her mom said, “Steve, will you please leave Riley and I alone for a while?” He cleared his plate and placed a kiss on each of their cheeks. Once he was out of the kitchen, her mom reached over to stop Riley’s fidgeting with her fork. “What’s wrong?”

  Riley pushed her plate away, leaned back in her chair, and stared at her hands in her lap. “Cam came out to her mom and it didn’t go well.”

  “What happened?”

  Riley looked away, feeling embarrassed and afraid. She knew her mom trusted her, and she wouldn’t get in trouble when she related the story, but she still hesitated.

  “You know you can tell me, whatever it is.”

  Riley slowly nodded and took a deep breath. “I went over to Cam’s after school on Friday and we were up in her room. Claire walked in, and um, caught us kissing. She ran out of the house. Ms. Leoni saw that and asked Cam what was wrong. I left at that point, but Cam was basically forced to come out to her mom and admit what Claire had seen. Now I’m not allowed to see her anymore.” Riley looked up at her mom, tears pooling in her eyes.

  Her mom moved her chair closer to Riley and wrapped her in her arms, resting her head on top of Riley’s. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

  “What am I going to do?” She hiccupped. She had tried to be strong in front of Cam, but being held in her mom’s arms broke whatever resolve she had left.

  “You’ll just have to be patient. Let her mom come around.”

  Riley pulled back and wiped her eyes. “I can’t let her keep me from Cam.”

  “Riley, you need to respect her wishes. It’s not going to do either of you any good if you disregard her directives and get Cam in even more trouble. You can still see her in school, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Is she allowed to use the phone?”

  “So far.”

  “Then, you’ll just have to hang on to what you have for now. I’m sure her mom will come around.”

  “What if she doesn’t?”

  Her mom took a deep breath. “She will. Do you want me to call her and talk to her?”

  “No, I don’t think she’d react well to that.”

  “Well, let Cam know that I will reach out to her mom if she ever wants me to.”

  “Okay. Thanks, Mom,” Riley said as she fell into her mom’s arms once more.

  “How is Cam handling all of this?”

  “Not well. She seemed so dejected at school today. I think she and her mom are avoiding each other so Cam just hides in her room. And Claire isn’t talking to her. She’s been her best friend for years, and they’ve never had a fallout like this.”

  Her mom let out a sigh as she rubbed circles on Riley’s back. “I’m sorry. I wish had a solution for you.”

  “It’s okay. Listening was enough. I’m going to head upstairs and finish my homework.”

  “Okay, honey. Love you.”

  “Love you too.”

  Once Riley was in her room, she opened her chemistry homework, but she couldn’t focus on the words in front of her. She h
ated seeing Cam so defeated and in pain, and she felt utterly helpless. She knew Cam was strong, but feeling shunned by your mom and best friend would be too much for anyone. She could only hope that at least one of them would come around sooner rather than later. Until that day, Riley was going to do whatever she could to ease Cam’s pain.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Early the next week, following her shift after school at the library, Cam got home in time to grab a quick snack before starting on her homework. She walked in the door to find her mom watching TV in the living room.

  “Hey, Cam. How was work?”

  They still hadn’t had a real conversation about Cam’s sexuality. Actually, they had yet to have a real conversation about anything.

  Avoiding eye contact, Cam went into the kitchen to grab some pretzels and a pop as she answered, “Fine. I’m going to my room to study.”

  “Is that all you’re eating?”

  “Yes.”

  “You should eat more than that.”

  “Yeah, well I’m not really hungry, Mom. I’m fine.”

  Her mom dropped her head to the back of the couch and rubbed her forehead with one hand. Cam briefly considered talking with her, but she was still pissed off, so she went upstairs instead.

  As she passed Josh’s room, she heard, “Cam?”

  Turning around, Cam went into his room to find Ethan and him sitting on Josh’s bed.

  “What’s up, guys? Ethan, it’s getting late and you should be getting ready for bed. Josh, did you finish your homework?” Even though she wasn’t as responsible for her brothers as she used to be, she still couldn’t break the habit of checking on them.

  “Yeah. We…we wanted to talk to you,” Josh said hesitantly as he looked up at her quickly before staring at his hands.

  Cam put her snacks on his desk and grabbed the chair and turned it around to sit in front of them. “Okay—shoot.”

  They briefly glanced at each other before Josh asked, “Why don’t you watch movies or play video games with us anymore? We asked Mom and she said you’re just confused right now and working through some stuff.”